If you’re looking for a one-night stand or an absolutely free night of passion, you probably don’t need this whole guide, but if you’re looking for something more serious, keep reading!
A Few Things to Know About Dating
First, you should know that the dating world is a weird place. There are a ton of simple ways to find a date. Meetup.com and OKCupid.com offer users the ability to post a profile and be instantly matched with others who also share common interests, and plenty of modern tech apps cater to the overly-excited groupie in all of us. At the end of the day, these matchmaking apps are, in theory, great for finding potential dates, but they all come with the same frustrations and mistakes. Some are more successful than others, but they all require you to jump through a lot of hoops to meet someone—which is a small price to pay to find an amazing partner, but not always an easy price to pay.
Also worth knowing: Just because an app says it’s free to sign up doesn’t mean you won’t run into a lot of stumbling blocks. For example, one of the only dating apps we used until recently was OkCupid, which bases all of its ratings on the number of messages you send and receive. If you were to message everyone you found on the site—and no, we’re not exaggerating—it would have taken over a week just to send enough messages to reach a 100% rating. At the end of the day, even if you get to the point where everyone is at a 100%, the dating game is essentially still rigged in favor of the most popular users.
So it’s worth asking yourself what you really want out of a dating app or app. Do you want a casual hookup or a long-term relationship? Are you someone who’d like to be matched with someone who shares a common interest or someone who’s looking for more of a long-term commitment? Are you single and want something casual or would you prefer to be in a couple? Are you in a committed relationship and looking to find a way to spice things up a bit? Are you open to meeting someone new no matter what? These questions will help you figure out the best way to approach an app or app you’re already on, but they’re also useful if you have a specific idea of what you’d like in the future.
If You’re Not Sure, Ask Yourself: https://www.freeadultdatingx.com/articles/why-hookup-online-a-foreign-girl-meet-international-lovers
In most cases, it shouldn’t be intimidating to meet someone new—and there’s a simple psychology reason for that. It turns out that when you’re going for a date with someone you know, you’re more likely to say, “You’re really pretty” or “You’re interesting” than when you’re trying to play matchmaker and are showing that person a bunch of photos of your friends. That’s because being told you’re pretty or interesting is one of the highest compliments you could possibly receive, so you want to extend that to the person you’re meeting, even if they don’t necessarily say it to you. See the problem? (It’s the “why is it so intimidating?” part that’s left out of the above paragraph.)
Roughly speaking, there are two ways to go about your approach.
1. Do your homework—ask people you trust for advice.
If you’re a person who likes to do your own research before picking up the phone to make a first call, you’re not alone. In fact, 59 percent of adults use online dating sites or mobile apps to search for relationships, according to a survey from the Pew Research Center. If you don’t have a friend who knows someone you want to meet, you can find out some info just by talking to them. Tell them you’re looking for a new partner and ask them for their advice.
“There are two benefits to asking friends for their input: 1) it’s a great icebreaker, 2) you get insight into what they think of the people you’re interested in,” Lauren J. Brown, relationship expert and author of “The One and Only: How To Find Your One and Only Love,” tells Gizmodo. “You might be surprised to find out they have great things to say about a person.”
That said, she doesn’t suggest you blindly rely on the judgments of your friends, but rather you can use them as a jumping-off point for further research. For instance, if your friend says that this person is passionate and kind, it might be fun to learn more about what they do in their spare time. Depending on who your friends are and how close you are with them, you can also ask them about their experiences with this person, what they’re like in person, how their relationship is going, and if they’d be open to a potential long-term relationship with you. There are benefits and drawbacks to asking friends for advice, but if you already know